There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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