there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
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Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
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ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
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