he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
love makes seman taste better
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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