She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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