Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
