i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize