Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
