i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
