What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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