Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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