After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
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It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
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It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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