whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
