just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
