Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
