I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
