a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
