new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
