The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
