TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
