Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Actions speak louder than pants.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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