hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
