someone get that fucking seahorse.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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