Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize