I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
