If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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