it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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