actually, I'm a sock model
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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