i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Randomize