forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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