do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
