walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
it was like eating out sand paper
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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