I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
