he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
The best revenge is premature balding
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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