I just saw a hot homeless man
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Randomize
