Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
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I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.