C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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