ADVERTISEMENT

• (520): View more from Arizona

  His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now

  (310): View more from California

  Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...

  Fav 14 4539 1310

  share tweet
  

• (718): View more from New York

  we need to drink 2009 down the drain

  Fav 16 5246 865

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.

  Fav 6 3821 995

  share tweet
  

• (615): View more from Tennessee

  You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.

  Fav 4 1401 4331

  share tweet
  
• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (330): View more from Ohio

  i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision

  Fav 10 1293 2270

  share tweet
  

• (703): View more from Virginia

  Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.

  Fav 5 1192 1740

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (772): View more from Florida

  He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...

  Fav 3 1765 1401

  share tweet
  

• (310): View more from California

  Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.

  Fav 2 1619 870

  share tweet
  

• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.

  Fav 10 1096 787

  share tweet
  
• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (516): View more from New York

  Gotcha. How bad is it?

  (631): View more from New York

  Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon

  Fav 1 467 732

  share tweet
  

• (361): View more from Texas

  My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.

  Fav 19 501 1497

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (716): View more from New York

  Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"

  Fav 5 774 562

  share tweet
  

• (815): View more from Illinois

  I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday

  Fav 0 244 67

  share tweet
  

• (901): View more from Tennessee

  And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.

  Fav 0 59 4

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  You're a hot mess, you know that?

  (1-403): View more from Alberta, CA

  At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.

  Fav 1 100 15

  share tweet
  

Randomize