He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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