Texts From Last Night

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  (813): View more from Florida

  My mind said no, but my drink said yes.

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  (813): My mind said no, but my drink said yes. http://tfl.nu/mirc
  Replies (2) Good night (2416) Bad night (758)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.

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  (253): Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it. http://tfl.nu/s7pq
  Replies (15) Good night (760) Bad night (3753)
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  (619): View more from California

  thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina

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  (619): thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina http://tfl.nu/dtrt
  Replies (29) Good night (6295) Bad night (964)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is

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  (613): i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is http://tfl.nu/6noa
  Replies (16) Good night (781) Bad night (3493)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..

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  (330): She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating.. http://tfl.nu/qbj3
  Replies (45) Good night (1519) Bad night (5534)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on

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  (210): I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on http://tfl.nu/6saa
  Replies (10) Good night (1087) Bad night (3481)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?

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  (937): He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst? http://tfl.nu/5xe1
  Replies (67) Good night (1907) Bad night (26289)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore

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  (502): I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore http://tfl.nu/n25p
  Replies (37) Good night (6774) Bad night (1482)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar

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  (401): So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar http://tfl.nu/20ke
  Replies (6) Good night (2512) Bad night (951)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.

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  (337): Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night. http://tfl.nu/5kyl
  Replies (36) Good night (6888) Bad night (2547)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex

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  (302): It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex http://tfl.nu/xtt5
  Replies (20) Good night (3562) Bad night (1399)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."

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  (414): I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong." http://tfl.nu/mk9e
  Replies (9) Good night (2113) Bad night (1595)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.

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  (614): stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude. http://tfl.nu/1ko8
  Replies (17) Good night (1935) Bad night (816)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten

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  (904): Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten http://tfl.nu/vxzl
  Replies (2) Good night (1114) Bad night (424)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom

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  (443): i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom http://tfl.nu/onuv
  Replies (0) Good night (548) Bad night (428)

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