Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
