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• (970): View more from Colorado

  Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?

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• (917): View more from New York City

  She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit

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• 

  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (785): View more from Kansas

  It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad

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• (425): View more from Washington

  That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick

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• (289): View more from Ontario

  Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about

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• (713): View more from Texas

  Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to

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