I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
