So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize