i already hear my dad disowning me
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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