I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize