I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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