is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I have aggressive nipples.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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