Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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