"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
