This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Just pee around me
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Shame - the story of my life.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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