Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
