I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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