Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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