Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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