They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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