He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
