I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i permit you to call me
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
