please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
