Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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