so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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