Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
