I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
