take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
