is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
